The truth about overgiving

Do you ever feel like you're constantly pouring into others but rarely receive the same energy in return? You give advice, show up, hold space, anticipate needs before they're even spoken—but when was the last time you allowed yourself to receive just as fully?

For so many women, receiving feels unnatural, even uncomfortable. We've been conditioned to believe that our worth is tied to how much we do for others. That rest is laziness. That asking for help is weakness. That pleasure is indulgent. But what if true power—true feminine energy—lies not in how much we give, but in our ability to open up and receive?

This shift isn’t just emotional; it’s physiological. Science shows that chronic overgiving keeps our nervous system in fight-or-flight mode, leading to burnout, anxiety, and even hormonal imbalances. Meanwhile, learning to receive—whether it’s support, love, abundance, or simply a moment of stillness—helps activate the parasympathetic nervous system, shifting us into deep relaxation and flow.

So, how do we unlearn the belief that receiving is selfish and start embracing it as a radical, necessary act of self-care?

Why women struggle with receiving

1. We’ve been taught that giving = love

From a young age, many women are praised for being “helpful” and “selfless.” The more we accommodate others, the more validation we receive. Over time, this conditions us to prioritize others' needs over our own, making it hard to even recognize when we need support.

2. Our nervous system associates rest with guilt

Women who struggle with receiving often find that when they do slow down, their mind floods with guilt. This is because our body has been conditioned to equate productivity with safety—if we’re not “doing,” we feel like something is wrong.

Studies show that chronic stress and over-responsibility keep cortisol (the stress hormone) elevated, making it harder for our nervous system to enter a state of true rest and repair. This explains why so many women feel exhausted but also anxious when they finally take a break.

3. We’re operating in overdrive (masculine energy)

In today’s world, many of us are stuck in our masculine energy—pushing, hustling, striving, achieving. While there’s nothing wrong with ambition, being in a constant state of output without balance leads to depletion.

Feminine energy, by contrast, is about flow, ease, intuition, and receptivity. The key isn’t to abandon productivity but to create space for both giving and receiving—for both action and stillness.

How to cultivate the art of receiving

The good news? Receiving is a practice. Just like any muscle, the more we strengthen our ability to receive—whether it’s compliments, support, money, or love—the more natural it becomes.

1. Shift your inner narrative

• Instead of: “I don’t want to burden anyone.”
• Try: “Allowing myself to receive gives others the gift of giving.”
• Instead of: “I have to do it all myself.”
• Try: “I am fully supported in ways I may not even see yet.”
  

This rewiring doesn’t happen overnight, but awareness is the first step. Notice when resistance comes up around receiving and gently challenge it.

2. Start small: receive a compliment fully

How do you respond when someone compliments you? Many women instinctively deflect—
"Oh, this old thing?" or "No, YOU look amazing!"—instead of simply saying, “Thank you.”

Try this: Next time you receive a compliment, pause and let it sink in. Notice if you feel an urge to shrink away from it. Breathe. Allow yourself to receive it fully.

3. Allow yourself to receive support without guilt

Receiving doesn’t mean being dependent—it means being open to the natural exchange of energy.

• If a friend offers to help, say yes instead of automatically declining.
• If your partner wants to treat you, receive it without feeling the need to “even the score.”
• If your body is craving rest, allow yourself to slow down without guilt.

Each time you practice receiving, you rewire your nervous system to accept support as normal and safe.

4. Embody feminine energy through pleasure & play

Feminine energy is inherently receptive—it thrives in sensory experiences, pleasure, and play.

Some ways to shift into receptivity:

• Slow down while eating. Savor every bite instead of rushing through meals.
• Engage in self-massage or skincare rituals. Let yourself receive nurturing touch.
• Spend time in nature. Let the beauty of the world remind you how effortless receiving can be.

The more you prioritize pleasure and play, the more you remind your body that receiving is not only safe but essential.

5. Open yourself to financial & abundance receiving

Many women carry subconscious blocks around receiving money, success, and abundance. These might sound like:

• “I have to work really hard to deserve financial success.”
• “It’s selfish to want more.”
• “I can’t accept money without giving something in return.”

But money, like energy, is meant to flow. Instead of over-giving, start shifting into abundance mindset:

• When someone offers to pay for your coffee, let them.
• When you receive unexpected financial abundance, express gratitude instead of guilt.
• When you set a price for your work, own it without apologizing.

Receiving wealth is no different from receiving love or support—it’s all about trusting that you are worthy.

Receiving is the ultimate feminine power

The world needs more women who are deeply nourished, supported, and in their power. The more we allow ourselves to receive, the more we inspire those around us to do the same.

So today, challenge yourself: Where can you soften? Where can you say yes? Where can you let go of control and simply receive?

Because when you do, something magical happens—life starts giving to you in ways you never expected.